Thursday, 17 December 2015

Orc Children Growing Up: Little Darlings

Two orc children ages 4 and 6 decide it's time to grow up.
   "We should start swearing now, we are old enough," says the 6 year old.
   "OK, bruv," replies the smaller orc.
   At breakfast mummy orc says, "What would you like to eat."
   Without hesitation the 6 year old says, "I'll have squashed toad on toast, bitch!"
   Furiously mummy orc backhands him, sending him flying.
   "And what would you like?" she asks turning to the younger orc.
   "I don't know but it won't be the f***ing squashed toad on toast."


Thursday, 10 December 2015

Adult Santa Joke

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year and that's down the chimney.

(Ooops, sorry for the non-PC all you Santas.)

Drunk Orc

An Orc is stopped for speeding and the cop asks him to get out of the car.

"You're staggering," the cop warned.

To which the Orc replied, "You are quite handsome yourself."