Another Orc Cannibal Joke

Two orc cannibals were tucking into a meal.

"There is something off about this Catholic missionary," said the first orc.

"I think I know why," said the second one. "I don't think he was a missionary and I don't think we should have boiled him."

"Why is that?" said the first orc.

"I think this one was a friar."

Pirate Joke

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender looks shocked. "Bluebeard! Not seen you for ages. You look like you've been in the wars. That wooden leg is new."
"I'm fine. Me leg blown off by a cannon ball, but I'm OK now."
"The hook. What happened to your hand?"
"Lost it in a sword fight, but I'm fine now."
"The eye patch. What happened to your eye?"
"I looked up and a seagull crapped in my eye."
"And you lost your eye because of that? That's harsh."
"No. It was my first day with a hook."