1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and
2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to
back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "
3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my
4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than
your book case."
5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't
6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."
7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only
because I'm concentrating."
8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.
9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not
10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for
pessimism. she wouldn't fancy her chances."