Monday 29 October 2018

Three Orc Soldiers in Hospital

Three orcs soldiers are standing by their hospital beds as the general orc inspects them.

"What's your problem?" asks the orc general of the first orc.

"Gonorrhea," says the orc.

"And what is the treatment?"

"Wire brush twice a day," replies the soldier.

"And what is your ambition?" asked the general.

"To get back to the forest and fight elves, general."

The general moves to the next soldier. "What's your problem?" he asks.

"Syphilis," says the orc.

"And what is the treatment?" asks the general.

"Wire brush twice a day," replies the soldier.

"And what is your ambition, son?" asked the general.

"To get back to the forest and fight elves, general."

"Well done. Proud of you," says the general and he moves to the last soldier.

"What's your problem?" he asks.

"Sore throat," croaks the orc.

"And what is the treatment?"

"Wire brush twice a day," replies the soldier.

"And what is your ambition, son?" asked the general.

"To get the wire brush before the other two buggers."

Fairy with Christmas Blues

Heard about the fairy who was allergic to Christmas

She had tinselitus



Wednesday 10 October 2018

Orc Crime

An orc was recently trampled to death by a stampede of very large and ugly trolls.

The orc police said there wasn't much to go by as the evidence was "very thin on the ground".

*groan*