Sunday, 22 July 2012

Another Genie Joke

Three men, an English man, an American and a French man, when one of them discovers a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a very grateful genie who grants them a wish each.

The American goes first. "I love my country and want to help the world. I wish America could produce enough grain to feed everyone."

"A good and noble wish," says the genie as he grants it.

The French man is next, "I too love my country but we have been invaded too often. I want to protect my country. Build a wall around it."

The genie says, "Good wish," and grants it.

Finally, the English man. "Tell me a bit more about this wall around France."

"It's thirty feet high and fifteen feet thick," says the genie. "It is continuous without a single gap."

"Great," says the English man. "Fill it with water."

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Genie joke

A man walks into a restaurant with an ostrich in tow. The waitress wanders over and with a twinkle asks what they would like to which the man replies, "A beefburger, chips, and a coke." He turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

Wow, thinks the waitress, a talking ostrich as she departs to get the order. A short time later the waitress returns with the food and drinks.

"That will be £8.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change much to her surprise as he doesn't seem to look.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A pizza and a coke."

Immediately the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. Not a penny more, not a penny less.

A day later and the two are back.

"What would you like?" the waitress asks.

"I'm feeling hungry today, so I will have a steak, baked potato says the man

"The same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be £28.90."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress is amazed and can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"Wow! That is amazing." says the waitress... "You could buy anything you wanted."

"That's right. Whether it's a house or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What intrigues me most is the talking ostrich. What's the story there?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a long-legged chick who agrees with everything I say."