Tax Collector Joke

The Royal Tax Collector decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the castle.

Grandpa is well connected, so the Royal Tax Collector was not surprised when Grandpa showed up along with his Baron.

The Tax Collector look down his nose at Grandpa and said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Tax Collector finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The Tax Collector thinks for a moment. "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand golds that I can bite my own eye."

The Tax Collector thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The Tax Collector's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand golds that I can bite my other eye." Now the Tax Collector can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned Tax Collector now realizes he has wagered and lost three thousand golds, with Grandpa's Baron as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks "I'll bet you that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that chamber pot on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The Tax Collector, twice burned, is cautious now. "Without moving the pot or the desk?" When Grandpa nods, the Tax Collectordecides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the chamberpot on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the Tax Collector's desk.

The Tax Collector leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's Baron moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the Tax Collector asks.

"Not really," says the Baron. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand golds that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it." (Lee)